Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
