You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
of course. lets lasso hookers.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize