Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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