It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
