It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize