make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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