i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
