I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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