i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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