There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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