fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
