What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
