Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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