Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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