There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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