Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
