Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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