I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
