do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
