just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
