are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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