Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
