I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
it's like heaven, but drunker
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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