I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
