i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
