Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
