She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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