She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
