I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
