she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
