we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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