what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
