God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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