I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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