had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
