Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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