Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
