scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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