we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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