I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
