My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize