he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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