Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
