he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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