Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
