He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize