I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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