So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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