They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
