Where are you?
In a non slutty way
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
