I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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