is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
