I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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