I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
